I'm enjoying my treatment break, but now I'm feeling strong again, I find myself impatient to start radiotherapy, which starts on the 6th of June. Strange, but I just want to push on and get it all done and dusted.
Stomach pains have disappeared, energy levels are rising and appetite had been restored. The only lingering side effect is the neuropathy. It catches me out. Whether it be washing my hands (must remember to run the hot tap for a few seconds), taking stuff out of the fridge / freezer or walking on a cold floor without the benefit of warm socks. It's fairly immediate and vicious, but if is this and the op scars is all I take away from this part of my life, then I'm thankful.
I heard a quote the other day, 'Cancer isn't something I have, but something my body is doing.' I feel like I can relate to this. When I first heard my diagnosis, all I could think of was death. Cancer = death. I was wrong. My diagnosis, although not ideal does not mean I'm going to die from it. I'm currently cancer free and I embrace this wholeheartedly, I know their is a possibility that it can come back but why worry about this when I don't know that it will? We all die, I've been given a glimpse of my own mortality and although it sounds terribly cliched, I appreciate my life even more. It's changed me as a person, I'm not scared - I feel a new confidence.
Until recently, I couldn't see past the treatment - now all I can see is holidays away with Paul, having fun with family and friends (of whom, I have to say are the best a person could wish for) and having our family we have always wished for. I can't think of a better way to celebrate our daughters gift to me than having a little brother or sister (or both) to whom we can share our wonderful story of their big sister, Autumn.
I now realise how very lucky I am. I have an amazing husband, supportive family and friends and many happy memories in the making. I have an awful lot to live for and I fully intend to, for many more years.
Hayley x
Thursday, 17 May 2012
Sunday, 6 May 2012
Chemotherapy #6
Yes!!!!! Half way through chemotherapy! That's right, 50% DONE!
The relief I felt when the 5FU pump was taken down on Friday was immense. I spent 4 nights in hospital. This is 1 night longer than I should have.
Some clever soul had lost my chemotherapy chart from my previous stay on those wards. This meant that the chemo wasn't ordered in on time and wasn't ready on Tuesday when I was due to have it. The oncologist seemed impressed with how healthy my bloods were and I was very keen to get this one out of the way. Bit disappointed I was taking up a hospital bed for no reason. Next day my chemo chart was found and things were back on track.
I'm now in somewhat of a R&R period before I embark on 25 sessions of 5 days a week radiotherapy. I think (but still have to clarify with my Oncologist) that I will be free of treatment for the entirety of May. This will give my body time to get all it's reserves back up ready to be zapped in the area where my tumour was.
The reason I'm having radiotherapy is because a small part of the tumour had attached to my abdominal wall, the surgeon was very confident that he'd removed everything, the margins of healthy tissue are clear - its just a case of frying anything microscopic
that may or may not still be there. As I've mentioned before, I'm having the works thrown at me.
It's now a week since chemo #6 started and I'm still having abdominal pain but this is due to the 5FU chemo really attacking that area and the previous blockage still causing a bit of tenderness. Neuropathy is becoming more of a hindrance - the slightest hint of cold and my fingers and toes feel like they're being stabbed. I normally find a hot water bottle and a thick pair of socks helps. Although these symptoms aren't that pleasant, I'd happily put up with these for the rest of my life for years worth of all clear results!
I'm going to get lots of rest, eat well and try and get out for a little bit of exercise before my next phase of treatment. I want to be the strongest I can be for radiotherapy. Oh and do lots of retail therapy!
Hayley x
The relief I felt when the 5FU pump was taken down on Friday was immense. I spent 4 nights in hospital. This is 1 night longer than I should have.
Some clever soul had lost my chemotherapy chart from my previous stay on those wards. This meant that the chemo wasn't ordered in on time and wasn't ready on Tuesday when I was due to have it. The oncologist seemed impressed with how healthy my bloods were and I was very keen to get this one out of the way. Bit disappointed I was taking up a hospital bed for no reason. Next day my chemo chart was found and things were back on track.
I'm now in somewhat of a R&R period before I embark on 25 sessions of 5 days a week radiotherapy. I think (but still have to clarify with my Oncologist) that I will be free of treatment for the entirety of May. This will give my body time to get all it's reserves back up ready to be zapped in the area where my tumour was.
The reason I'm having radiotherapy is because a small part of the tumour had attached to my abdominal wall, the surgeon was very confident that he'd removed everything, the margins of healthy tissue are clear - its just a case of frying anything microscopic
that may or may not still be there. As I've mentioned before, I'm having the works thrown at me.
It's now a week since chemo #6 started and I'm still having abdominal pain but this is due to the 5FU chemo really attacking that area and the previous blockage still causing a bit of tenderness. Neuropathy is becoming more of a hindrance - the slightest hint of cold and my fingers and toes feel like they're being stabbed. I normally find a hot water bottle and a thick pair of socks helps. Although these symptoms aren't that pleasant, I'd happily put up with these for the rest of my life for years worth of all clear results!
I'm going to get lots of rest, eat well and try and get out for a little bit of exercise before my next phase of treatment. I want to be the strongest I can be for radiotherapy. Oh and do lots of retail therapy!
Hayley x
Wednesday, 2 May 2012
Pre chemo #6 update and good news.
I'm sitting here at the pleasure of the good ship Queen Alexandra hospital in Portsmouth waiting for my sixth round of chemotherapy.
It was supposed to be yesterday but some *plum* has lost my chemo chart. Dr B, my Oncologist was furious and went about blaming some nameless people and apologised furiously that I was summoned here earlier than was necessary. Meh, never mind, I've become a fan of hospital food....
The real big news this week from my camp is that the CT scan I had 10 days ago has been reviewed by Dr B and the surgical team. The scan is clear. No evidence of disease. I'm as clean as a whistle and all my organs are behaving themselves.
I am so, so relieved.
I am by no means out of the woods yet. I have 4 1/2 more years of scans and the all clear will be declared if the scan is still clean then. However, I'm very encouraged and this boost couldn't have come sooner. I can say I no longer have cancer, I'm a cancer patient who is being treated to ensure the utter swine never returns.
I've been grinning like a massive pillock the past day. I have more chemo today and will probably feel minging later, but I don't care. All this pain and being utterly sick to the stomach along with all the other side effects have been worth it thus far.
I'm going to enjoy this moment and hold onto it when I'm yakking later.
Update on how chemo #6 coming up soon, then Radiotherapy!
Who says I don't know how to have fun?!?
Hayley x
It was supposed to be yesterday but some *plum* has lost my chemo chart. Dr B, my Oncologist was furious and went about blaming some nameless people and apologised furiously that I was summoned here earlier than was necessary. Meh, never mind, I've become a fan of hospital food....
The real big news this week from my camp is that the CT scan I had 10 days ago has been reviewed by Dr B and the surgical team. The scan is clear. No evidence of disease. I'm as clean as a whistle and all my organs are behaving themselves.
I am so, so relieved.
I am by no means out of the woods yet. I have 4 1/2 more years of scans and the all clear will be declared if the scan is still clean then. However, I'm very encouraged and this boost couldn't have come sooner. I can say I no longer have cancer, I'm a cancer patient who is being treated to ensure the utter swine never returns.
I've been grinning like a massive pillock the past day. I have more chemo today and will probably feel minging later, but I don't care. All this pain and being utterly sick to the stomach along with all the other side effects have been worth it thus far.
I'm going to enjoy this moment and hold onto it when I'm yakking later.
Update on how chemo #6 coming up soon, then Radiotherapy!
Who says I don't know how to have fun?!?
Hayley x
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