I realised I abandoned my blog after breaking the news that I was worried about a cyst that was discovered on my left ovary after my CT scan. Oops!
Well, what happened?
As this news was divulged the same week we were going on holiday, we wanted to get some more answers rather than being left out on a limb for a couple of weeks. We called our IVF consultant for information regarding my case so we could present this to the gynaecology oncology department at the QA hospital who have now taken over my care. Very luckily for us, Dr I, our IVF consultant offered an ultrasound to investigate further. This all took place the day before going away on our break.
I was very nervous arriving at Dr I's office. Thankfully, we went straight in to her consulting room so she could perform the ultrasound. Deep breaths and sweaty palms emerged, and the ultrasound commenced. Dr I had a good look, looked longer and kept looking. Nothing. Dr I couldn't see any cyst, in fact the ovary that we thought would be deep fried and crispy from radiotherapy was actually working. I won't go into any further detail, but it all looked quite normal. Dr I couldn't find any reason to be concerned.
Dr I proceeded to write a report regarding my inner workings to hand to the consultant at the QA. This appointment would come after our holiday (which was fab by the way, apart from a norovirus which cut it slightly short - urgh).
So, the appointment with the gynaecology oncology department came and I handed over the report. The consultant was pleasantly surprised by the results but want to give me an MRI scan just to be double and triple sure that all is good in the ovary department. I didn't feel like I was
Ok, all good so far..we think.
Met Dr B my oncologist last Monday week to discuss the rest of my CT scan results. Again, all he mentioned was this enlarged cyst on my ovary and that was the only concern. I was discharged from his jurisdiction, my next stop was the MRI scan.
The MRI came around last Tuesday. That was interesting to say the least! If you've never had an MRI all I can describe it as like being in a coffin with a car alarm blasting away for 30 minutes. I did have earphones in...Mariah Carey's "All I want for Christmas" was on the playlist. All I wanted was the scan to be over! I've had worse procedures but it is quite claustrophobic and disorientating.
So once that was done, all I had to do was patiently wait for my results, which came today.
I got to meet another Dr B, this time a gynaecologist, oncologist and Antipodean. A very upbeat chap who had a warm smile. We sat down and he explained that the cyst I sometimes have and sometimes don't have is a very boring and harmless cyst. My bloods show that my CA-125 was only very slightly elevated, but Dr B wasn't concerned at all as I'm a pre menopausal woman, apparently it's very common to have this marker slightly elevated in younger women around certain times of the month. The MRI showed no signs of any secondary bowel cancer or primary ovarian cancer. Gulp!
I'M OFFICIALLY IN REMISSION!!!
Dr B said he would like to see me in two months just to have another ultrasound on the cyst and have some bloods taken to check the CA-125 levels then it'll be routine scans every 6 months. Dr B then gave me a big smile, shook our hands and wished us a very happy Christmas.
What a complete contrast to this time last year! I'm so utterly relieved, I'm cancer free for now and I always hope to be.
Thank you everyone for supporting me through my blogs. My family, friends, new friends who have been through this journey too and most of all my husband Paul.
Paul, you've been my rock. I love you.
I'm going to end this blog now. I want to move on, but never forget my journey with cancer.
Thank you for reading.
Hayley x
Friday, 7 December 2012
Tuesday, 6 November 2012
Worried
I've just poured myself a glass of wine. I need to calm my nerves.
I had a call from the hospital today, it seems that my CT scan is clear but for one area which has a question mark over it.
My left ovary has an enlarged cyst on it. Nothing unusual for a lot of women to get cysts on the ovaries but because I've recently had cancer the medical peeps are going investigate further.
It's probably non cancerous, but I have that nagging thought that it could be. The MDT are meeting on Friday to discuss the findings. The likeliest outcome is another operation. Hopefully just day surgery then a biopsy on the cyst.
I would appreciate if everyone could keep their fingers, toes and eyes crossed that the results are good.
I'm not ready for another battle.
Hayley x
I had a call from the hospital today, it seems that my CT scan is clear but for one area which has a question mark over it.
My left ovary has an enlarged cyst on it. Nothing unusual for a lot of women to get cysts on the ovaries but because I've recently had cancer the medical peeps are going investigate further.
It's probably non cancerous, but I have that nagging thought that it could be. The MDT are meeting on Friday to discuss the findings. The likeliest outcome is another operation. Hopefully just day surgery then a biopsy on the cyst.
I would appreciate if everyone could keep their fingers, toes and eyes crossed that the results are good.
I'm not ready for another battle.
Hayley x
Friday, 19 October 2012
Stuff that's happened since chemo.
It's been nearly three weeks since my final dose of chemo. I've had a few hiccups since this but nothing major.
I had an over night admission when my last 5FU pump was removed due to a tight feeling in my chest. I had three ECG's, all fine there. The doctor whom dealt with me seemed to think it was the 5FU giving me a last kick before it was disconnected by irritating the arteries around my heart. Apparently this is a less common side effect of this chemo. Nice!
The doctor thought it best to keep me in overnight for monitoring as I was given a tablet to ease the tight chest (can't remember the name of it) - side effects of the tablet included a lowering of blood pressure. Mine is already low, runs at about 90/60 so he didn't want me flaking out at home. This tablet worked wonders, I only had to take half of it! I have to thank my sister in law who is an oncology and haematology nurse on the day unit, for running around the hospital on behalf of the doctor who'd prescribed it...for an hour to get this drug for me, so thank you J. You little star xx
I was given bail the next morning, felt very tired but a lot better. Home was my destination.
A week later came problem(s) number two. I had three 'owwwies' this time in the form of a lump in my arm pit, a massive spot on my face and the site of my picc line being sore.
Attractive.
Being the good patient I am, I didn't want to sit on these problems so another visit to the hospital it was for me. It may sound stupid to a fit person to go into hospital for these issues but I didn't know if I was Neutropenic at the time. The last thing I wanted was to have a bad infection that meant more hospital time.
I'm glad I went in. To be fair, it was actually Paul who'd insisted I get these problems checked out. My biggest concern was the lump under my arm, there was a small hard nodule, smaller than a pea and it was quite painful when I moved my arm. Dark thoughts crept into my mind and I immediately jumped to the conclusion that it was either a) a bowel cancer reoccurrence in my lymph node or b) a primary breast cancer lump.
- Naughty - *slaps own face*
It turned out to be none of these things. It was a blocked sweat gland (eww) and it disappeared within a couple of days.
Lump on my face. This turned out to be an infected spot. Chemo had made my skin regress to my fourteen year old self. I'm not exaggerating when I say this thing had a pulse of its own.
In fact, here's a picture of it:
It was incredibly red and angry. Another one of those strange things that would normally be an embarrassment but for someone who is immune suppressed, potentially a dangerous situation. I'd urge anyone who is on chemo to get these little niggles checked before they get out of hand. As a result of that spot, I was given ten days worth of antibiotics!
Third problem was the picc line. It felt quite sore and irritated at the entry site. The doctor took a look, he didn't seem concerned and said I'd probably just knocked it. Nothing else was done about that.
Happily, no hospital stay was required as my bloods were at an acceptable level to fight infection. Very pleased about that!
Fast forward a few days and I had my post chemo meeting with Dr B, my oncologist. My bloods were checked again in case I needed a blood transfusion, I didn't. My Hb was at 9.4 which has increased since my last chemo so he was happy for my body to do the work. I'm anaemic but not enough to cause any concern so I've been on a leafy green vegetable health drive to boost my iron count. I don't eat red meat which is the best source of iron apparently. Dr B suggested I eat liver....erm, no way!!!
Apart from that, Dr B seemed happy with me and said I should get the picc line removed. I even got a hand shake!
After the appointment, I booked my slot to get the picc removed next day.
It was so nice to have the picc line removed, my arm feels a less cumbersome now. One of the lovely nurses who dealt with me on the ward when I had my nightmare blockage (see chemotherapy #4 post for more details) took out my line. It was an odd feeling but didn't hurt at all, just a weird pulling sensation. It was out within two minutes.
Lovely nurse B was in that day and we had a big hug. This is when I burst into tears in the middle of the busy day unit. It felt like a weird mixture of relief that my entire treatment - ten months of it including my surgery and recovery from that, was at an end. It was also the feeling of sadness to say goodbye to all the lovely nurses who'd looked after me so beautifully throughout.
With all due respect to them, I never want to see them in a professional sense again. Of course, this doesn't include my sister in law!
It hasn't all been about post chemo annoyances and hospitals though. I've been working on building my strength back up. Going out in the fresh air, taking short walks and doing some online retail therapy. I was lucky enough to have a girly day out last Thursday. It was the best day I've had for a very long time. It involved a few drinks, my make up being done then spending a lot of money on said makeup. Laughs, lovely lunch, manicure and a cocktail at the end of the day. It was lovely to feel normal and less hospitally (I'm making up words again, but you know what I mean.) Thanks ladies for making it such a fabulous day!
The beginning of lots more lovely times ahead.
So that's what's happened after chemo. I have my CT scan on Wednesday. I've been trying to keep it at the back of my mind, I'll have to wait a month for my results. I have an appointment with Dr B booked to have the big reveal on November 26th at 2pm. Please keep all your fingers, toes and eyes crossed for another big fat all clear for me.
Whatever the outcome, I'll post an update about it.
A massive thank you to ALL who have read, supported, shared and commented on my blog. It's really kept me going through this rather difficult year. You're all treasures.
Hayley x
I had an over night admission when my last 5FU pump was removed due to a tight feeling in my chest. I had three ECG's, all fine there. The doctor whom dealt with me seemed to think it was the 5FU giving me a last kick before it was disconnected by irritating the arteries around my heart. Apparently this is a less common side effect of this chemo. Nice!
The doctor thought it best to keep me in overnight for monitoring as I was given a tablet to ease the tight chest (can't remember the name of it) - side effects of the tablet included a lowering of blood pressure. Mine is already low, runs at about 90/60 so he didn't want me flaking out at home. This tablet worked wonders, I only had to take half of it! I have to thank my sister in law who is an oncology and haematology nurse on the day unit, for running around the hospital on behalf of the doctor who'd prescribed it...for an hour to get this drug for me, so thank you J. You little star xx
I was given bail the next morning, felt very tired but a lot better. Home was my destination.
A week later came problem(s) number two. I had three 'owwwies' this time in the form of a lump in my arm pit, a massive spot on my face and the site of my picc line being sore.
Attractive.
Being the good patient I am, I didn't want to sit on these problems so another visit to the hospital it was for me. It may sound stupid to a fit person to go into hospital for these issues but I didn't know if I was Neutropenic at the time. The last thing I wanted was to have a bad infection that meant more hospital time.
I'm glad I went in. To be fair, it was actually Paul who'd insisted I get these problems checked out. My biggest concern was the lump under my arm, there was a small hard nodule, smaller than a pea and it was quite painful when I moved my arm. Dark thoughts crept into my mind and I immediately jumped to the conclusion that it was either a) a bowel cancer reoccurrence in my lymph node or b) a primary breast cancer lump.
- Naughty - *slaps own face*
It turned out to be none of these things. It was a blocked sweat gland (eww) and it disappeared within a couple of days.
Lump on my face. This turned out to be an infected spot. Chemo had made my skin regress to my fourteen year old self. I'm not exaggerating when I say this thing had a pulse of its own.
In fact, here's a picture of it:
It was incredibly red and angry. Another one of those strange things that would normally be an embarrassment but for someone who is immune suppressed, potentially a dangerous situation. I'd urge anyone who is on chemo to get these little niggles checked before they get out of hand. As a result of that spot, I was given ten days worth of antibiotics!
Third problem was the picc line. It felt quite sore and irritated at the entry site. The doctor took a look, he didn't seem concerned and said I'd probably just knocked it. Nothing else was done about that.
Happily, no hospital stay was required as my bloods were at an acceptable level to fight infection. Very pleased about that!
Fast forward a few days and I had my post chemo meeting with Dr B, my oncologist. My bloods were checked again in case I needed a blood transfusion, I didn't. My Hb was at 9.4 which has increased since my last chemo so he was happy for my body to do the work. I'm anaemic but not enough to cause any concern so I've been on a leafy green vegetable health drive to boost my iron count. I don't eat red meat which is the best source of iron apparently. Dr B suggested I eat liver....erm, no way!!!
Apart from that, Dr B seemed happy with me and said I should get the picc line removed. I even got a hand shake!
After the appointment, I booked my slot to get the picc removed next day.
It was so nice to have the picc line removed, my arm feels a less cumbersome now. One of the lovely nurses who dealt with me on the ward when I had my nightmare blockage (see chemotherapy #4 post for more details) took out my line. It was an odd feeling but didn't hurt at all, just a weird pulling sensation. It was out within two minutes.
Lovely nurse B was in that day and we had a big hug. This is when I burst into tears in the middle of the busy day unit. It felt like a weird mixture of relief that my entire treatment - ten months of it including my surgery and recovery from that, was at an end. It was also the feeling of sadness to say goodbye to all the lovely nurses who'd looked after me so beautifully throughout.
With all due respect to them, I never want to see them in a professional sense again. Of course, this doesn't include my sister in law!
It hasn't all been about post chemo annoyances and hospitals though. I've been working on building my strength back up. Going out in the fresh air, taking short walks and doing some online retail therapy. I was lucky enough to have a girly day out last Thursday. It was the best day I've had for a very long time. It involved a few drinks, my make up being done then spending a lot of money on said makeup. Laughs, lovely lunch, manicure and a cocktail at the end of the day. It was lovely to feel normal and less hospitally (I'm making up words again, but you know what I mean.) Thanks ladies for making it such a fabulous day!
The beginning of lots more lovely times ahead.
So that's what's happened after chemo. I have my CT scan on Wednesday. I've been trying to keep it at the back of my mind, I'll have to wait a month for my results. I have an appointment with Dr B booked to have the big reveal on November 26th at 2pm. Please keep all your fingers, toes and eyes crossed for another big fat all clear for me.
Whatever the outcome, I'll post an update about it.
A massive thank you to ALL who have read, supported, shared and commented on my blog. It's really kept me going through this rather difficult year. You're all treasures.
Hayley x
Wednesday, 3 October 2012
Chemotherapy #12
Well here it is, my last dose of poison is still coursing through my veins, but at 4.30pm tomorrow - my last 5FU pump will be removed!
I hope with all the will in the world, that this will my last ever session of chemotherapy.
I started my journey with bowel cancer in December last year. A week before my operation to remove the tumour, I looked like this:
Depressed, sad and unbeknownst to me - incredibly poorly. It saddens me to look at this. It brings back a lot of painful feelings. I think it's important to look upon it and know how far I've come.
I looked like this yesterday:
Tired, but happy. I know which one I prefer!
I feel a little bit in limbo. I am of course, thrilled that the treatment is done. I'll no longer have a second home in Queen Alexandra hospital in Portsmouth and I will start to feel stronger with each passing week. The next big thing to look forward to is the removal of my picc line. A lot of people have it removed as soon as treatment is done, but I'm keeping it in for two weeks longer. Two reasons for this; I had a hospital admission during my treatment, so just in case I do need to be admitted for anything, my picc can be used and no one need brutalise my non existent veins to get a cannula in. Second reason, word on the street is that I may need a second blood transfusion due to anaemia. By no means a bad thing for me, I'll feel super perky afterwards.
Truth is, my bloods were at the bottom of the barrel on this chemo, I am Neutropenic but not dangerously so. I needed to make a score of 1 for chemo, I was 1.2 (eeek). I only *just* made it, on time. This was all I could have asked for.
On 24th October, I'll be having my first post treatment CT scan. Last time I had one in May, it was clear, I hope that I can make it a second clear result. I won't find out until 4 weeks after - I may have no finger nails left but I'm remaining positive that it will be clear.
I'm no way near out of the woods yet. My journey will continue for the rest of my life, hoping it will be a very long one.
I will celebrate with caution once I know the results of my scan. My task now is to look after myself, feel better and enjoy my life.
Life is a beautiful gift and I am so grateful I have it.
With tears in my eyes I thank my husband, my family and all my friends - old and new for all the love, support and generally putting up with me through this difficult time in my life. I will always need you in my life.
Thank you Autumn, I love you everyday more and more. I know you continue to protect me. My beautiful sweet girl. I carry you with me always.
This isn't quite the end of me writing on this blog. I'll be back with results and anything else I feel like boring you with. Until then, I may just hibernate for a few days!
Hayley x
I hope with all the will in the world, that this will my last ever session of chemotherapy.
I started my journey with bowel cancer in December last year. A week before my operation to remove the tumour, I looked like this:
Depressed, sad and unbeknownst to me - incredibly poorly. It saddens me to look at this. It brings back a lot of painful feelings. I think it's important to look upon it and know how far I've come.
I looked like this yesterday:
Tired, but happy. I know which one I prefer!
I feel a little bit in limbo. I am of course, thrilled that the treatment is done. I'll no longer have a second home in Queen Alexandra hospital in Portsmouth and I will start to feel stronger with each passing week. The next big thing to look forward to is the removal of my picc line. A lot of people have it removed as soon as treatment is done, but I'm keeping it in for two weeks longer. Two reasons for this; I had a hospital admission during my treatment, so just in case I do need to be admitted for anything, my picc can be used and no one need brutalise my non existent veins to get a cannula in. Second reason, word on the street is that I may need a second blood transfusion due to anaemia. By no means a bad thing for me, I'll feel super perky afterwards.
Truth is, my bloods were at the bottom of the barrel on this chemo, I am Neutropenic but not dangerously so. I needed to make a score of 1 for chemo, I was 1.2 (eeek). I only *just* made it, on time. This was all I could have asked for.
On 24th October, I'll be having my first post treatment CT scan. Last time I had one in May, it was clear, I hope that I can make it a second clear result. I won't find out until 4 weeks after - I may have no finger nails left but I'm remaining positive that it will be clear.
I'm no way near out of the woods yet. My journey will continue for the rest of my life, hoping it will be a very long one.
I will celebrate with caution once I know the results of my scan. My task now is to look after myself, feel better and enjoy my life.
Life is a beautiful gift and I am so grateful I have it.
With tears in my eyes I thank my husband, my family and all my friends - old and new for all the love, support and generally putting up with me through this difficult time in my life. I will always need you in my life.
Thank you Autumn, I love you everyday more and more. I know you continue to protect me. My beautiful sweet girl. I carry you with me always.
This isn't quite the end of me writing on this blog. I'll be back with results and anything else I feel like boring you with. Until then, I may just hibernate for a few days!
Hayley x
Thursday, 20 September 2012
Chemotherapy #11
Penultimate chemo. Done.
Well almost, I still have the 5FU pump attached until today until 4.30pm.
I feel like I'm being held together with cello tape and string, by that I mean that I'm having to rely on more meds and heating devices such as hot water bottles and a warm neck cushion to help me through the side effects. I think I'm coming down with a sniffle too.
Colds don't usually get me down but my bloods are starting to get knocked down with each cycle. Again, it's not really a problem unless I get some kind of chest infection which I've been prone to in the past. This would mean a stay at the hospital with IV antibiotics and isolation. I'm doing my utmost to dose up on vitamin C, keep drinking lots of water and lots of rest. No way am I'm letting this compromise my last dose of chemo!
My meeting with Dr B was fairly positive this time. I've learnt to smile sweetly and only bring up the essential details with him. He took a look at the lump in my tummy that was infected from a clexane injection, that's all good now. I had an insect bit on my leg over the weekend too, he took a look at that and didn't seem worried about it. No infection there either...phew, no more antibiotics for that.
We talked about my post treatment CT scan to see whether I'm still clear. It's booked for October 24th, day before my birthday. I've got to be honest, I'm terrified. I want nothing more in my life than for that scan to be clear, to set the benchmark for things to come. Then their is the week to fortnight wait to discuss the results, I can predict a few sleepless nights ahead.
Just a small plug to end this post for my friend Dan.
Dan completed the 3 Peaks challenge (Ben Nevis, Scafell Pike and Snowdon) within 23 hours and 45 minutes. It was an incredible achievement and left him
very sore afterwards! Dan did this to raise money and awareness for my two favourite charities - Bowel Cancer UK and Beating Bowel Cancer. We hope that it's also raised further awareness for younger patients. Thank you to everyone who's sponsored, we're incredibly grateful. If you'd like to sponsor, you can at http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/DanOsmond - thank you Dan xx
Special thanks to Alice and Pete who were designated drivers and also the rest of the walkers who were doing their bit for charity xx
Next time I post will be after my last chemo!
Hayley xx
Well almost, I still have the 5FU pump attached until today until 4.30pm.
I feel like I'm being held together with cello tape and string, by that I mean that I'm having to rely on more meds and heating devices such as hot water bottles and a warm neck cushion to help me through the side effects. I think I'm coming down with a sniffle too.
Colds don't usually get me down but my bloods are starting to get knocked down with each cycle. Again, it's not really a problem unless I get some kind of chest infection which I've been prone to in the past. This would mean a stay at the hospital with IV antibiotics and isolation. I'm doing my utmost to dose up on vitamin C, keep drinking lots of water and lots of rest. No way am I'm letting this compromise my last dose of chemo!
My meeting with Dr B was fairly positive this time. I've learnt to smile sweetly and only bring up the essential details with him. He took a look at the lump in my tummy that was infected from a clexane injection, that's all good now. I had an insect bit on my leg over the weekend too, he took a look at that and didn't seem worried about it. No infection there either...phew, no more antibiotics for that.
We talked about my post treatment CT scan to see whether I'm still clear. It's booked for October 24th, day before my birthday. I've got to be honest, I'm terrified. I want nothing more in my life than for that scan to be clear, to set the benchmark for things to come. Then their is the week to fortnight wait to discuss the results, I can predict a few sleepless nights ahead.
Just a small plug to end this post for my friend Dan.
Dan completed the 3 Peaks challenge (Ben Nevis, Scafell Pike and Snowdon) within 23 hours and 45 minutes. It was an incredible achievement and left him
very sore afterwards! Dan did this to raise money and awareness for my two favourite charities - Bowel Cancer UK and Beating Bowel Cancer. We hope that it's also raised further awareness for younger patients. Thank you to everyone who's sponsored, we're incredibly grateful. If you'd like to sponsor, you can at http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/DanOsmond - thank you Dan xx
Special thanks to Alice and Pete who were designated drivers and also the rest of the walkers who were doing their bit for charity xx
Next time I post will be after my last chemo!
Hayley xx
Thursday, 6 September 2012
Chemotherapy #10
I had a feeling this one wouldn't be so straight forward.
I don't know what it is, just had a inkling that it wouldn't go as smoothly as I'd like. Not that it was a total disaster, it wasn't; just a couple of annoyances.
It started when I went to see Dr B, my oncologist on Monday 3rd. People will probably know that although he is an excellent oncologist, he has the bedside manner of Frankie Boyle (perhaps a little harsh, but he was the first person who popped into my head.)
I was a little luckier this time with him, he had a student nurse shadowing, so he had to behave himself. Paul and I sat down and I gave my permission to allow the student nurse to sit in on my appointment.
We went through how my symptoms were from chemo #9, he was very thorough and jocular - all a lovely show for the student nurse. At least I didn't get called a reject / get told AGAIN how young I am to be a bowel cancer patient / how he can't promise it won't come back. It was all rather positive! Dr B even said that he WOULDN'T see me again once my treatment is done (I'll be referred back to the surgical tram for all follow up scans.)
So far, so good.
I asked Dr B to take a look at my tummy. I hopped onto the bed, lifted my top up and he had a look. I have a lump just under my skin, to the left of my belly button. It's right in the war zone that is the radiated section of my abdomen. It was sore, red and hot - the cause - Clexane injection. It's infected! I got away with seven months of no problems with these injections, but now my tummy is starting to rebel. It's so tough and lumpy now, it's hard to know where to inject without causing more lumpage (is that even a word?)
Dr B pinched the lump, which was already quite sore and confirmed that I'd have to go on a weeks course of antibiotics (Flucloxacillin) to knock the infection on its head. Dr B said he didn't want it turning into an abscess - eeek! He also gave me the option to defer the chemo for another week, I politely declined (!) he agreed only on the condition that if my lump got worse or my temperature spiked to call the hospital straight away. I agreed to this, I have a happy end date in my head and I'm trying desperately to not have anything get in the way to allow me to finish then.
Sorted. On antibiotics, chemo ready to go for Tuesday 4th.
My appointment for chemo was at 9.30, we waited for a little while until the head Sister in charge of the day unit came over to us to tell me that my bloods were lost from the previous day. The Sister wasn't happy about this, she'd taken my bloods the previous day and ensured they'd got sent to the lab. The bloods were lost somewhere there. I was hurried through to the area where bloods are taken and I was assured by the Sister that my bloods would be ready within the hour.
Paul and I decided to go to the Macmillan centre down the corridor to wait, have a cuppa and a few biscuits. The hour passed quickly and we made our way back to the day unit, my bloods were good so my chemo was a go!
It's weird to be happy to have chemo, I like that I'm in double figures now. I know that four weeks today, I'll be disconnected from my last 5FU pump.
Pre meds started as usual; dexamethasone, hydro cortisone, antihistamines, Emend and Ondansetron and I felt very drowsy as usual. The antihistamines get me every time, I dozed off for about an hour, noticing that during my slumber my mouth kept falling open, lovely sight for all the other patients. At least I didn't snore.
Chemo finished and we made our way home, I hit the sofa immediately and stayed there until bedtime. I can really understand when people describe the side effects as cumulative; the fatigue is immense. My brain whirs with all kinds of thoughts of things I want to do, but my body tells me - absolutely no way. I'm learning to just let it all flow over me (as frustrating as that can be) and rest. Rest is so important.
That evening I learned of the sad news that a fellow bowel cancer patient that I had lovely chats with on Twitter had passed away recently of this awful condition. It really hit me hard that night, he was a lovely chap - gave me kind words of encouragement when I was first diagnosed. We exchanged, gentle and humorous grumbles about our treatment as well as what helped us to cope with chemo side effects. A very kind soul, I'll miss our chats.
Where ever you are, Keith - you remained graceful throughout the difficulties that were thrown at you.
Rest in peace x
Hayley x
I don't know what it is, just had a inkling that it wouldn't go as smoothly as I'd like. Not that it was a total disaster, it wasn't; just a couple of annoyances.
It started when I went to see Dr B, my oncologist on Monday 3rd. People will probably know that although he is an excellent oncologist, he has the bedside manner of Frankie Boyle (perhaps a little harsh, but he was the first person who popped into my head.)
I was a little luckier this time with him, he had a student nurse shadowing, so he had to behave himself. Paul and I sat down and I gave my permission to allow the student nurse to sit in on my appointment.
We went through how my symptoms were from chemo #9, he was very thorough and jocular - all a lovely show for the student nurse. At least I didn't get called a reject / get told AGAIN how young I am to be a bowel cancer patient / how he can't promise it won't come back. It was all rather positive! Dr B even said that he WOULDN'T see me again once my treatment is done (I'll be referred back to the surgical tram for all follow up scans.)
So far, so good.
I asked Dr B to take a look at my tummy. I hopped onto the bed, lifted my top up and he had a look. I have a lump just under my skin, to the left of my belly button. It's right in the war zone that is the radiated section of my abdomen. It was sore, red and hot - the cause - Clexane injection. It's infected! I got away with seven months of no problems with these injections, but now my tummy is starting to rebel. It's so tough and lumpy now, it's hard to know where to inject without causing more lumpage (is that even a word?)
Dr B pinched the lump, which was already quite sore and confirmed that I'd have to go on a weeks course of antibiotics (Flucloxacillin) to knock the infection on its head. Dr B said he didn't want it turning into an abscess - eeek! He also gave me the option to defer the chemo for another week, I politely declined (!) he agreed only on the condition that if my lump got worse or my temperature spiked to call the hospital straight away. I agreed to this, I have a happy end date in my head and I'm trying desperately to not have anything get in the way to allow me to finish then.
Sorted. On antibiotics, chemo ready to go for Tuesday 4th.
My appointment for chemo was at 9.30, we waited for a little while until the head Sister in charge of the day unit came over to us to tell me that my bloods were lost from the previous day. The Sister wasn't happy about this, she'd taken my bloods the previous day and ensured they'd got sent to the lab. The bloods were lost somewhere there. I was hurried through to the area where bloods are taken and I was assured by the Sister that my bloods would be ready within the hour.
Paul and I decided to go to the Macmillan centre down the corridor to wait, have a cuppa and a few biscuits. The hour passed quickly and we made our way back to the day unit, my bloods were good so my chemo was a go!
It's weird to be happy to have chemo, I like that I'm in double figures now. I know that four weeks today, I'll be disconnected from my last 5FU pump.
Pre meds started as usual; dexamethasone, hydro cortisone, antihistamines, Emend and Ondansetron and I felt very drowsy as usual. The antihistamines get me every time, I dozed off for about an hour, noticing that during my slumber my mouth kept falling open, lovely sight for all the other patients. At least I didn't snore.
Chemo finished and we made our way home, I hit the sofa immediately and stayed there until bedtime. I can really understand when people describe the side effects as cumulative; the fatigue is immense. My brain whirs with all kinds of thoughts of things I want to do, but my body tells me - absolutely no way. I'm learning to just let it all flow over me (as frustrating as that can be) and rest. Rest is so important.
That evening I learned of the sad news that a fellow bowel cancer patient that I had lovely chats with on Twitter had passed away recently of this awful condition. It really hit me hard that night, he was a lovely chap - gave me kind words of encouragement when I was first diagnosed. We exchanged, gentle and humorous grumbles about our treatment as well as what helped us to cope with chemo side effects. A very kind soul, I'll miss our chats.
Where ever you are, Keith - you remained graceful throughout the difficulties that were thrown at you.
Rest in peace x
Hayley x
Wednesday, 29 August 2012
Things I want to do and will do!
I'm in serious countdown mode until treatment finishes. Including today, it's 37 days until my last pump is removed and I will be chemo forever (fingers very much crossed.) I have to fit three more sessions in that time, I'm starting to find it a little more difficult each time to shake the side effects, but that's to be expected with the cumulation of chemo in my system. I keep the mantra ~this is not forever, this feeling is transient~ going around in my noggin. Hard sometimes when I'm feeling green around the gills, but I do try!
Things that help me through the nausea, pain and neuropathy are that the following things are going to happen before Christmas;
A make up day in London with Bryony and Alice (most probably a couple of glasses of bubbly thrown in for good measure.)
A spa day with Jo and Veri, us girls really need this.
A trip up to Yorkshire to stay with Emma, we'll also be planning our road trip next year to the west coast of the USA.
A getaway for just me and Paul.
Cooking many dinners for friends and family, getting back to one of the most pleasurable of things for me to do.
Setting up a new blog, it'll most likely feature food, recipes and pictures of what I like to cook and bake.
Meet new friends I've made through this journey. Cancer has few benefits, but I've had the fortune to get to know many very wonderful people also affected by this disease. It's truly a humbling experience and I'm very much looking forward to meeting these people in real life.
Volunteer work for various charities, I want to give back and support people who have been affected by cancer.
RETURN TO WORK (before this year is out - again, fingers crossed!!!) I'm itching to get back.
So, quite a busy three months leading up to Christmas. I feel like a new lease of life is heading my way and I'm going to grasp it with both hands and treasure every minute of it!
Hayley x
Things that help me through the nausea, pain and neuropathy are that the following things are going to happen before Christmas;
A make up day in London with Bryony and Alice (most probably a couple of glasses of bubbly thrown in for good measure.)
A spa day with Jo and Veri, us girls really need this.
A trip up to Yorkshire to stay with Emma, we'll also be planning our road trip next year to the west coast of the USA.
A getaway for just me and Paul.
Cooking many dinners for friends and family, getting back to one of the most pleasurable of things for me to do.
Setting up a new blog, it'll most likely feature food, recipes and pictures of what I like to cook and bake.
Meet new friends I've made through this journey. Cancer has few benefits, but I've had the fortune to get to know many very wonderful people also affected by this disease. It's truly a humbling experience and I'm very much looking forward to meeting these people in real life.
Volunteer work for various charities, I want to give back and support people who have been affected by cancer.
RETURN TO WORK (before this year is out - again, fingers crossed!!!) I'm itching to get back.
So, quite a busy three months leading up to Christmas. I feel like a new lease of life is heading my way and I'm going to grasp it with both hands and treasure every minute of it!
Hayley x
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