Friday 19 October 2012

Stuff that's happened since chemo.

It's been nearly three weeks since my final dose of chemo. I've had a few hiccups since this but nothing major.

I had an over night admission when my last 5FU pump was removed due to a tight feeling in my chest. I had three ECG's, all fine there. The doctor whom dealt with me seemed to think it was the 5FU giving me a last kick before it was disconnected by irritating the arteries around my heart. Apparently this is a less common side effect of this chemo. Nice!

The doctor thought it best to keep me in overnight for monitoring as I was given a tablet to ease the tight chest (can't remember the name of it) - side effects of the tablet included a lowering of blood pressure. Mine is already low, runs at about 90/60 so he didn't want me flaking out at home. This tablet worked wonders, I only had to take half of it! I have to thank my sister in law who is an oncology and haematology nurse on the day unit, for running around the hospital on behalf of the doctor who'd prescribed it...for an hour to get this drug for me, so thank you J. You little star xx

I was given bail the next morning, felt very tired but a lot better. Home was my destination.

A week later came problem(s) number two. I had three 'owwwies' this time in the form of a lump in my arm pit, a massive spot on my face and the site of my picc line being sore.

Attractive.

Being the good patient I am, I didn't want to sit on these problems so another visit to the hospital it was for me. It may sound stupid to a fit person to go into hospital for these issues but I didn't know if I was Neutropenic at the time. The last thing I wanted was to have a bad infection that meant more hospital time.

I'm glad I went in. To be fair, it was actually Paul who'd insisted I get these problems checked out. My biggest concern was the lump under my arm, there was a small hard nodule, smaller than a pea and it was quite painful when I moved my arm. Dark thoughts crept into my mind and I immediately jumped to the conclusion that it was either a) a bowel cancer reoccurrence in my lymph node or b) a primary breast cancer lump.

- Naughty - *slaps own face*

It turned out to be none of these things. It was a blocked sweat gland (eww) and it disappeared within a couple of days.

Lump on my face. This turned out to be an infected spot. Chemo had made my skin regress to my fourteen year old self. I'm not exaggerating when I say this thing had a pulse of its own.

In fact, here's a picture of it:









It was incredibly red and angry. Another one of those strange things that would normally be an embarrassment but for someone who is immune suppressed, potentially a dangerous situation. I'd urge anyone who is on chemo to get these little niggles checked before they get out of hand. As a result of that spot, I was given ten days worth of antibiotics!

Third problem was the picc line. It felt quite sore and irritated at the entry site. The doctor took a look, he didn't seem concerned and said I'd probably just knocked it. Nothing else was done about that.

Happily, no hospital stay was required as my bloods were at an acceptable level to fight infection. Very pleased about that!

Fast forward a few days and I had my post chemo meeting with Dr B, my oncologist. My bloods were checked again in case I needed a blood transfusion, I didn't. My Hb was at 9.4 which has increased since my last chemo so he was happy for my body to do the work. I'm anaemic but not enough to cause any concern so I've been on a leafy green vegetable health drive to boost my iron count. I don't eat red meat which is the best source of iron apparently. Dr B suggested I eat liver....erm, no way!!!

Apart from that, Dr B seemed happy with me and said I should get the picc line removed. I even got a hand shake!

After the appointment, I booked my slot to get the picc removed next day.

It was so nice to have the picc line removed, my arm feels a less cumbersome now. One of the lovely nurses who dealt with me on the ward when I had my nightmare blockage (see chemotherapy #4 post for more details) took out my line. It was an odd feeling but didn't hurt at all, just a weird pulling sensation. It was out within two minutes.

Lovely nurse B was in that day and we had a big hug. This is when I burst into tears in the middle of the busy day unit. It felt like a weird mixture of relief that my entire treatment - ten months of it including my surgery and recovery from that, was at an end. It was also the feeling of sadness to say goodbye to all the lovely nurses who'd looked after me so beautifully throughout.

With all due respect to them, I never want to see them in a professional sense again. Of course, this doesn't include my sister in law!

It hasn't all been about post chemo annoyances and hospitals though. I've been working on building my strength back up. Going out in the fresh air, taking short walks and doing some online retail therapy. I was lucky enough to have a girly day out last Thursday. It was the best day I've had for a very long time. It involved a few drinks, my make up being done then spending a lot of money on said makeup. Laughs, lovely lunch, manicure and a cocktail at the end of the day. It was lovely to feel normal and less hospitally (I'm making up words again, but you know what I mean.) Thanks ladies for making it such a fabulous day!

The beginning of lots more lovely times ahead.

So that's what's happened after chemo. I have my CT scan on Wednesday. I've been trying to keep it at the back of my mind, I'll have to wait a month for my results. I have an appointment with Dr B booked to have the big reveal on November 26th at 2pm. Please keep all your fingers, toes and eyes crossed for another big fat all clear for me.

Whatever the outcome, I'll post an update about it.

A massive thank you to ALL who have read, supported, shared and commented on my blog. It's really kept me going through this rather difficult year. You're all treasures.

Hayley x

Wednesday 3 October 2012

Chemotherapy #12

Well here it is, my last dose of poison is still coursing through my veins, but at 4.30pm tomorrow - my last 5FU pump will be removed!

I hope with all the will in the world, that this will my last ever session of chemotherapy.

I started my journey with bowel cancer in December last year. A week before my operation to remove the tumour, I looked like this:


Depressed, sad and unbeknownst to me - incredibly poorly. It saddens me to look at this. It brings back a lot of painful feelings. I think it's important to look upon it and know how far I've come.

I looked like this yesterday:


Tired, but happy. I know which one I prefer!

I feel a little bit in limbo. I am of course, thrilled that the treatment is done. I'll no longer have a second home in Queen Alexandra hospital in Portsmouth and I will start to feel stronger with each passing week. The next big thing to look forward to is the removal of my picc line. A lot of people have it removed as soon as treatment is done, but I'm keeping it in for two weeks longer. Two reasons for this; I had a hospital admission during my treatment, so just in case I do need to be admitted for anything, my picc can be used and no one need brutalise my non existent veins to get a cannula in. Second reason, word on the street is that I may need a second blood transfusion due to anaemia. By no means a bad thing for me, I'll feel super perky afterwards.

Truth is, my bloods were at the bottom of the barrel on this chemo, I am Neutropenic but not dangerously so. I needed to make a score of 1 for chemo, I was 1.2 (eeek). I only *just* made it, on time. This was all I could have asked for.

On 24th October, I'll be having my first post treatment CT scan. Last time I had one in May, it was clear, I hope that I can make it a second clear result. I won't find out until 4 weeks after - I may have no finger nails left but I'm remaining positive that it will be clear.

I'm no way near out of the woods yet. My journey will continue for the rest of my life, hoping it will be a very long one.
I will celebrate with caution once I know the results of my scan. My task now is to look after myself, feel better and enjoy my life.

Life is a beautiful gift and I am so grateful I have it.

With tears in my eyes I thank my husband, my family and all my friends - old and new for all the love, support and generally putting up with me through this difficult time in my life. I will always need you in my life.

Thank you Autumn, I love you everyday more and more. I know you continue to protect me. My beautiful sweet girl. I carry you with me always.



This isn't quite the end of me writing on this blog. I'll be back with results and anything else I feel like boring you with. Until then, I may just hibernate for a few days!

Hayley x