Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts

Friday, 3 August 2012

Chemotherapy #7

I'm wondering why I'm writing a post for this particular chemo. I haven't had any weird side effects, no 4 am visits to the hospitals and I'm feeling fairly well. As well as you can, two days after chemo.

I guess I intended this blog to remind me of each experience through treatment and recovery. If I feel half human, this is a good thing. I believe that we may have cracked it (she whispers, very gingerly). The combination of a mostly liquid diet two days before and two days after chemo, a huge amount of antihistamines and paracetamol to keep the reaction at bay and some rather elaborate (expensive) anti sickness drugs have made the past three chemo experiences the less of the living hell they could have been!

If I can give some advise to anyone going through chemo, ask for the anti sickness drug called Emend (Aprepitent), it's just fabulous. I'm sure NHS oncologists would try and gag me for sharing this information. It's expensive, but it really works. I've also suggested this to a couple of people who had horrendous sickness, they are now a whole lot better for taking this.

Don't get me wrong, Emend aside; I still feel a bit 'icky, lethargic, and the neuropathy and tummy pain has started to make an appearance again, but these are all very manageable. If I can get through the next 5 sessions like this, I'm a happy girl.

I'm even embracing my steroid blush, makes me look less like a cave dweller!

Hayley x

Sunday, 6 May 2012

Chemotherapy #6

Yes!!!!! Half way through chemotherapy! That's right, 50% DONE!

The relief I felt when the 5FU pump was taken down on Friday was immense. I spent 4 nights in hospital. This is 1 night longer than I should have.

Some clever soul had lost my chemotherapy chart from my previous stay on those wards. This meant that the chemo wasn't ordered in on time and wasn't ready on Tuesday when I was due to have it. The oncologist seemed impressed with how healthy my bloods were and I was very keen to get this one out of the way. Bit disappointed I was taking up a hospital bed for no reason. Next day my chemo chart was found and things were back on track.

I'm now in somewhat of a R&R period before I embark on 25 sessions of 5 days a week radiotherapy. I think (but still have to clarify with my Oncologist) that I will be free of treatment for the entirety of May. This will give my body time to get all it's reserves back up ready to be zapped in the area where my tumour was.

The reason I'm having radiotherapy is because a small part of the tumour had attached to my abdominal wall, the surgeon was very confident that he'd removed everything, the margins of healthy tissue are clear - its just a case of frying anything microscopic
that may or may not still be there. As I've mentioned before, I'm having the works thrown at me.

It's now a week since chemo #6 started and I'm still having abdominal pain but this is due to the 5FU chemo really attacking that area and the previous blockage still causing a bit of tenderness. Neuropathy is becoming more of a hindrance - the slightest hint of cold and my fingers and toes feel like they're being stabbed. I normally find a hot water bottle and a thick pair of socks helps. Although these symptoms aren't that pleasant, I'd happily put up with these for the rest of my life for years worth of all clear results!

I'm going to get lots of rest, eat well and try and get out for a little bit of exercise before my next phase of treatment. I want to be the strongest I can be for radiotherapy. Oh and do lots of retail therapy!

Hayley x


Wednesday, 2 May 2012

Pre chemo #6 update and good news.

I'm sitting here at the pleasure of the good ship Queen Alexandra hospital in Portsmouth waiting for my sixth round of chemotherapy.

It was supposed to be yesterday but some *plum* has lost my chemo chart. Dr B, my Oncologist was furious and went about blaming some nameless people and apologised furiously that I was summoned here earlier than was necessary. Meh, never mind, I've become a fan of hospital food....

The real big news this week from my camp is that the CT scan I had 10 days ago has been reviewed by Dr B and the surgical team. The scan is clear. No evidence of disease. I'm as clean as a whistle and all my organs are behaving themselves.

I am so, so relieved.

I am by no means out of the woods yet. I have 4 1/2 more years of scans and the all clear will be declared if the scan is still clean then. However, I'm very encouraged and this boost couldn't have come sooner. I can say I no longer have cancer, I'm a cancer patient who is being treated to ensure the utter swine never returns.

I've been grinning like a massive pillock the past day. I have more chemo today and will probably feel minging later, but I don't care. All this pain and being utterly sick to the stomach along with all the other side effects have been worth it thus far.

I'm going to enjoy this moment and hold onto it when I'm yakking later.

Update on how chemo #6 coming up soon, then Radiotherapy!

Who says I don't know how to have fun?!?

Hayley x

Thursday, 26 April 2012

My symptoms, operation and recovery.

I realised that I've never really fully explained as to how I'd been diagnosed with Stage 3 Bowel Cancer and thought it was about time I spilled the beans (so to speak).

It'd first started when I was carrying Autumn, at about 23 weeks into the pregnancy (June last year) I awoke in the middle of the night with the most excruciating stabbing pain in my left mid abdomen. I could hardly move the pain was so crippling. A trip to the emergency doctor that evening and it was concluded that I was suffering with round ligament pain. Autumn hadn't moved much that day either so I was told to keep an eye on her movements and if she wasn't moving to call the hospital the next day to get a scan. Thankfully, the next morning she was hopping around on my bladder, and as odd as that sounds, it's actually a very nice feeling!

The pain subsided very quickly and I thought nothing more of it.

Fast forward to mid August, this was two weeks after Autumn as delivered 13 weeks prematurely, the pain had returned in the same place so I went to see the midwives at Southampton General where Autumn was staying on on the Neonatal ward. The midwife poked around and described a palpable lump, but it was most likely something to do with giving birth two weeks before via c-section and things were just 'settling down'.  I was given antibiotics as my infection markers were slightly elevated, the pain eased and I thought nothing more of it. We were too busy visiting our daughter twice daily to worry anymore about it, she had all of our focus.

No more symptoms arose until early December. I noticed more urgency to rush to the loo, stomach bloating and cramps and a general feeling of exhaustion. I put it down to feeling very depressed about the loss of Autumn in August. I wasn't coping very well with her passing away at all. I couldn't accept that her early arrival was 'just one of those unfortunate things' which is what the doctors had put it down to, her restricted growth was due to a blood clot compromising the placenta - why did this happen?
I felt tortured that I didn't have any answers and I missed her more than I can describe in words, especially coming up to Christmas.

Me and Autumn having cuddles before the worst happened, I miss her so much:












As December progressed, my tummy pain was becoming more acute and I ended up at A&E with the pain. The nurse curtly asked me if I'd taken paracetamol to help with the pain. Paracetamol didn't touch it! The doctor felt around my tummy and again the lump was there and infection markers were up and I was anaemic. I was also given a smear test to check for anything untoward in that area but thankfully it came back clear. I was sent away and was given a referral for a scan on my abdomen which I'd have to wait for two weeks.

Two days later I was having diarrhoea and started vomiting. Putting it down to IBS for which I've had bouts on and off for years, I phoned my GP to get it checked out. The GP thought it was IBS from the symptoms I was describing, even with the lump and I was prescribed Buscopan to stop the cramping, the doctor asked me to see her at the end of the week.

I got progressively worse and only now had I noticed a bit of blood when going to the loo. The end of the week arrived and after several days of sickness, diarrhoea and tummy pain - I was feeling terrible. I went back to the doctor, this time she had a more senior doctor sitting in the office with her, I guess she was appraising her. I looked awful and the doctor noted this, I was incredibly dehydrated, the doctor felt my tummy again and suspected it to be Diverticulitis. With this, I was given an immediate referral to the surgical assessment unit at my local hospital.

We want there straight away and I was given a bed quickly and placed on a drip to hydrate me. Doctors came in, felt my tummy, hmmm'd a bit, said it could be Diverticulitis or Crohn's disease and went away. This continued for the next three days. In this time I was actually starting to feel better. Sickness and diarrhoea had stopped and I was feeling more lively. I was sent for an ultrasound, X-ray and CT scan. I thought the doctors would review these, give me some pills and send me on my merry way.

No, this didn't happen.

Tuesday December 20th 2011 is a day I'll never forget. The surgeon, Mr C came into my room and told me I would need an operation the next day. He'd assumed the doctors had already told me this and what I would need an operation for. I didn't have a clue. I asked him why and he said, 'has nobody told you?' Erm, no!!! Mr C then told me they would be operating on me tomorrow and would be treating it as a bowel cancer removal procedure......

......????

What? I couldn't believe what I was hearing, surely their must have been some mistake! People with cancer are really ill and people with bowel cancer are a lot older than me?! I was asked if I have family history. I do, on both sides. Mr C said I was very young to have bowel cancer but it's not unheard of although quite rare. I asked him if this is the reason why our baby had stopped growing and her premature birth. My answer was given at last, he said this was very likely. The fact I'd been pregnant at the same time as having this tumour would have accelerated the growth and taken the blood supply away from her and also having cancer increases the chances of blood clots, the one which had compromised the placenta.

I have a deep hate for cancer for doing this to our daughter.

The next day I was prepped for theatre and said goodbye to Paul, I was scared that I wouldn't wake up from the operation and really sad to see him go.

In theatre, I was fitted with an epidural which was painful unlike the one I had for my c-section. I think it's because it was inserted higher up in my spine. Lots of people in scrubs and masks then shuffled me into a 'bear hugger' a device that keeps you still and warm during the operation. The theatre was freezing so this was quite welcome. After that I remember nothing until I woke up in recovery 7 1/2 hours later.

What my tummy looks like after surgery, bruises are from Clexane and Filgrastim injections:



I woke up in quite a cheerful mood, I was chatting away to the nurses who said I was very alert and chipper despite the length of time I'd been under anaesthetic. At this point they told me they would be removing the epidural and placing me on a morphine drip machine as I'd had my surgery as keyhole rather than as open, my recovery would be quicker so no need for the epidural big guns.

I was hooked up to the Morphine and it was keeping any pain at bay until I was wheeled around to the high care ward, where they forgot to plug it back in. I was pressing the button which would administer Morphine every six minutes but nothing was happening, the agony was immense! We only realised after about an hour that I was getting no pain relief, so we buzzed the nurses and they swiftly plugged it back in! The pain eased quite quickly after that.

The next few days were a bit of a blur, the surgeon had come by and said he was very confident that he'd removed everything bad and that the tumour was quite big, the size of a fist!

Being on the high care ward was certainly an experience. During the blur I was made to get out of bed the day after my op and walk myself to the end of the ward and back. That was painful. The nurses on that ward were mainly military and they were brilliant.

One particular nurse, a Captain (soon to be promoted to Major) in the Army was excellent. Captain M was caring but she wasn't taking any nonsense! I was made to move around despite my protests that it hurt too much. She told me if I didn't move I'd be at risk of pneumonia due to the lungs not inflating properly. The Captain was always there if I buzzed straight away. The day after I had my catheter removed I hadn't had a wee for nearly 24 hours. Captain M wasn't having any of this! She wheeled around a commode (yes, you have to leave all dignity at the door when you've had this sort of operation) closed the curtains and ordered me to wee within the next hour or that catheter was going straight back in, she didn't want me going into retention. This frightened me into finally having a tinkle and I was congratulated. The Captain had a real knack of making me get on with it!

Christmas day arrived and as a present my bowels had woken up after the op. My goodness, I wish they hadn't! I was moved from the high care ward to a normal recovery ward and I was up and out of bed every 15 minutes for a trip to the loo. My tummy was very painful as my pain meds had been lowered and every time I got up to walk to the toilet it felt like climbing a mountain. Worst Christmas day ever.  The nurses showed me some festive compassion and I was moved to a side room where the 15 minute loo trips were more comfortable and I had privacy.

These frequent trips to the toilet continued for the next 48 hours.  I begged the nurses for Imodium but I was denied due to having my recent operation.  I was so low at this point, I thought this would be my lot in life.  Always chained to the toilet. Gradually things improved and I was able to eat more and the loo trips became less.  Finally, eight days post op I was allowed to go home and recover.  I'd never been so happy to leave a hospital!

Here's the educational bit....

The main symptoms of bowel cancer are the following, these may not always be present:
  • Bleeding from the bottom
  • A change in your bowel habit for more than 3 weeks
  • Abdominal pain, especially if severe
  • A lump in your tummy
  • Weight loss
  • Tiredness
If you have any of these symptoms, you must see your GP as soon as possible.  It probably isn't bowel cancer but better to be safe than to take a chance.  95% of the earliest stage of bowel cancer is curable, I'm at stage 3 - more difficult to treat but still curable.  There is no need to be embarrassed, it is better to get these things checked now than wait until it is too late.  I'm telling you that surgery and chemotherapy is no fun and I'd rather you didn't ever have to go through it.

These amazing charities have been so helpful since my diagnosis, there's a wealth of information that's been invaluable to me:

http://www.beatingbowelcancer.org/
http://www.bowelcanceruk.org.uk/
http://macmillan.org.uk/

I would urge you to take a visit to these sites!

Hayley x


Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Chemotherapy #5

I'm 41.6% of the way through on my chemo treatment according to my Dad, that sounds pretty good to me!

So, after almost 3 weeks in hospital I triumphantly returned home yesterday just to crash out on the sofa and sleep all afternoon. With each cycle, it seems to drain my energy levels more and more. It's a fatigue that not even the many hours of sleep I've had can fix.

I'm not complaining though! I'm home, I have all my comforts, my lovely comfortable bed, Paul can rest now and the ability to please myself. I'm feeling quite happy that I don't smell like hospital now. No matter how much you shower, hair wash and scrub, there's always that faint whiff of bandages and sterilising solution whilst staying in hospital.

So chemo number 5 was given to me as an inpatient and it was ok this time. I had no reaction to the chemo, the nurses ensured I was pilled up to the nines to prevent this from happening.
I had no sickness, just a bit of nausea, the only problems I've had is the stomach pain from which it's still recovering from the 4th cycle. I've been given morphine to manage the pain at home and it seems to be keeping that under control.

Neuropathy reared its ugly head for a time today, just need to remember to keep my hands and feet warm!

I'm free for a week and will be admitted as an inpatient on Monday for my sixth chemo. I'm too much of a loose cannon these days to be let home after the chemo so I'll probably be in until at least Thursday. I don't mind so much, it makes me feel safe that if anything goes wrong the staff are there to help straight away.

Dr B, my oncologist, seems to think I have some particular enzyme missing or faulty that helps break down the chemo. This is why he thinks I have such an adverse reaction. We want to keep pushing on with the treatment but do it as safely as possible, hence being an inpatient when the infusions happen.

I had a CT scan at the weekend to determine if I am still cancer free. I'm nervous but hopeful that with the surgery and chemo it hasn't had the chance to come back. I'd certainly hope that the way the treatment has made me feel so far, cancer cells haven't even had hope of blooming. I'll probably find out the results of these next week so I'll keep you posted.

For the next week, I'm going to enjoy my freedom - I did a lot of retail therapy from my hospital bed so I'm using this time to enjoy my purchases and possible make a few more!

See you on the other side of chemo #6!

Hayley x