Really? I'm only 3 cycles in and now my white blood cells have decided to pack up, go on holiday and not return in time for chemo #4. This is a little bit annoying as I'd geared myself up for my next treatment, warpaint and all - much like Mel Gibson from Braveheart but without the questionable Scottish accent.
I have to go back bright and breezy on Monday to have another blood test to see if they are at 1, they're at 0.7 right now so I'm what's considered moderately Neutropenic. If I'm back up to 1 I can have chemo on Monday afternoon. Yay(!)
A couple of positives to take from this small break;
1) I get to spend a nice, healthy, productive weekend with Paul.
2) If the chemo is destroying my healthy cells which do grow back, I can only imagine they are nuking any rogue cancer cells, if any remain, which don't grow back (hopefully)!
I knew all was not going to plan when we got to the day unit today and my name wasn't on the list for treatment. The receptionist asked us to go and sit in the waiting area whilst she found out what was going on.
Half an hour later, Blanquita the most amazing head nurse called my name and asked us to follow her into a side room.
Blanquita is from the Philippines. A rather round lady with the sweetest, tiniest voice and bubbly personality. So friendly and reassuring. At her request I'm to call her 'Ate' pronounced 'Atta' which means older sister in Filipino. So I do, she's my newly adopted older sister who takes care of me.
Ate asked us to sit down and she explained to us that the chemo hadn't been dispensed and she would find out why as soon as possible. I wouldn't be having it today as by the time it would be dispensed it would be far too late and they would have to keep me as an in patient, something they want to avoid when I'm fairly healthy (germy hospitals).
Ate went away to find out if I could be booked in on Monday, she came back and said my white blood count was a bit too low to have chemo today anyway so a couple more days reprieve and to get my body in a stronger place to go for #4.
So, I have another weekend of FREEEEEEDOM (apologies for the second Braveheart reference in one post), I'm going to really enjoy it, but avoid large crowds so not to catch any germs (hmmmf).
Hayley x
Friday, 30 March 2012
Wednesday, 28 March 2012
Mid chemo musings
As I come up to my next chemo session the anxiety levels rise at the same time as a little sense of relief ensues.
I will be having my 4th chemo session on Friday, that day of the week was always my favourite but it's fast becoming my worst.
I dread the reaction that I will have, the high temperature, sickness, anxiety, chemo brain fog, neuropathy, facial and limb spasms.
I have to keep reminding myself that this is temporary. This is a moment in my life that will not last forever. Out of my 32 years on this Earth, this is a blip that will earn me a 'Get Out Of Jail Free' card for the rest of my life. I have to believe this.
I will go and see parts of the world I've always wanted to see. I will have a family and if I have to fall back on the IVF route then it was a very wise insurance to take before the chemo / radiotherapy potentially rob me of fertility.
These are all things I need to do for myself, my husband, family and friends. This is a fight and struggle that I have to face up to for the almighty prize at the end. My life back.
One person who I have to thank for the discovery of my disease is no longer with us. Our beautiful daughter, Autumn. She gave me the warnings of this cancer, her life was only four weeks long, she was born far too early because of the tumour that was growing inside me. The bravest and wisest soul I have ever known. If it wasn't for her, I could be walking down the palliative route rather than the curative one.
I have a draft blog post just for her. I've been writing it for nearly 6 weeks but the memories, although wonderful are also too painful for me to recount. I will post her story when I can finish it and when I feel at my strongest.
A message from Mummy:
I love you my sweet girl, I'll never forget how you showed me how to live my life and warned me of the tumour that could have ended me. You gave your life for me, I will fight for it because of you. I'm so proud of you, my brave little bird, and always will be. I will see you again. Mummy xxx
I will be having my 4th chemo session on Friday, that day of the week was always my favourite but it's fast becoming my worst.
I dread the reaction that I will have, the high temperature, sickness, anxiety, chemo brain fog, neuropathy, facial and limb spasms.
I have to keep reminding myself that this is temporary. This is a moment in my life that will not last forever. Out of my 32 years on this Earth, this is a blip that will earn me a 'Get Out Of Jail Free' card for the rest of my life. I have to believe this.
I will go and see parts of the world I've always wanted to see. I will have a family and if I have to fall back on the IVF route then it was a very wise insurance to take before the chemo / radiotherapy potentially rob me of fertility.
These are all things I need to do for myself, my husband, family and friends. This is a fight and struggle that I have to face up to for the almighty prize at the end. My life back.
One person who I have to thank for the discovery of my disease is no longer with us. Our beautiful daughter, Autumn. She gave me the warnings of this cancer, her life was only four weeks long, she was born far too early because of the tumour that was growing inside me. The bravest and wisest soul I have ever known. If it wasn't for her, I could be walking down the palliative route rather than the curative one.
I have a draft blog post just for her. I've been writing it for nearly 6 weeks but the memories, although wonderful are also too painful for me to recount. I will post her story when I can finish it and when I feel at my strongest.
A message from Mummy:
I love you my sweet girl, I'll never forget how you showed me how to live my life and warned me of the tumour that could have ended me. You gave your life for me, I will fight for it because of you. I'm so proud of you, my brave little bird, and always will be. I will see you again. Mummy xxx
Friday, 23 March 2012
Chemotherapy #3
Friday 23rd March 2012
It's been a week since Chemo #3 and now I'm only just about getting around to post about it, slacking!
So how did it go this time?
Well it was similar to #2 but far less aggressive. My real problem is the allergic reaction that we believe Oxaliplatin gives me, the oncologist believed that this would be solved by a large dose of antihistamines and hyrdocortisone prior to the infusion which was also extended from 2 to 3 hours. A slower infusion is sometimes used to reduce the side effects. As well as my daily Clexane injections I now have a 3 day course of G-CSF injections between each cycle to prevent Neutropenia. The injections aren't bad and as long as they keep my white blood cells at an acceptable level that suits me. The last thing I want is a nasty infection to prevent me from pushing through these horrible chemo sessions!
Chemo day was quite long due to delays in getting the treatment started and we got home at about 7pm that evening. The usual symptoms had started, hands ceasing up, muscle twitching, pins and needles and the cold sensation in my fingers and toes but these are fairly manageable if not a little annoying. After avoiding food most of the day to prevent any chemo sickness I was quite hungry but decided to play it safe with soup and bread for dinner.
After waiting for a couple of hours to see if any of the allergic reactions would kick in, I began to feel quite tired, counted myself lucky and went to bed at 10.30pm......
....then 1am came around. I'd been dozing on and off but then quite suddenly the chills and aching legs had started. I woke Paul up, "I feel really sick". A few seconds later I was violently sick, I'd felt quite pleased with myself for being prepared with a sick bowl next to the bed as there was no way I was making it to the bathroom. The sickness carried on for about 10 minutes, Paul got me to drink some water when I'd finally stopped but that came back up again. Gross.
When I'd stopped throwing up a couple of minutes later, I did feel better but I noticed I was feeling hot, very hot again. Paul was already on the phone to the oncology unit at the QA and I checked my temperature. 39.2C (102F), oh dear...back to the fever again. As Paul talked to the nurse, I was popping another antihistamine and paracetamol to help bring my temperature down and stop the allergic reaction in it's tracks.
Paul and I decided (along with the nurse of course) to monitor my temperature over the next hour with the help of the paracetamol, antihistamine and many pints of water to see if this alone would help without me being admitted into hospital, again, in the middle of the night.
So over the next hour, every 10 minutes Paul took my temperature and slowly but surely it was getting lower and lower, but it was still above the magical 38C (hospital time) temperature. We called the oncology ward again for further advice and were told that if I was feeling better to keep drinking plenty of water and monitor my temperature as it was going the right way, in the interim, a bed was being prepared for me just in case. The 10 minute interval temperature taking took us to 4am, where finally it was back down to an acceptable level.
It felt like an achievement to keep me out of hospital this time, we decided to get a bit of sleep, setting the alarm for 5am to check my temperature and make any decisions then. The alarm sounded almost as soon as it was set it seemed and I was tested again, all seemed ok. More sleep. 7am, temperature was still ok.
It was a long night but I'd dodged the hospital admittance. After all that excitement, I was exhausted and slept almost solidly until 6pm Saturday night. I felt so much better for it.
That's about as eventful as the last week has been thankfully. I've mainly been in a chemo induced slumber for much of this week, only today have I had some energy. With the nice weather this weekend, I'm going to make the most of it before round #4 next Friday. That's a third of the way through chemo!
I will be having a "break" after the 6th chemo session. By break, I mean 5 weeks of 5 days a week radiotherapy. The radiotherapy is to prevent anything from coming back from the spot where the tumour was, in the surgeons words, "throwing everything they can at me" to ensure the cancer doesn't return.
Hayley x
It's been a week since Chemo #3 and now I'm only just about getting around to post about it, slacking!
So how did it go this time?
Well it was similar to #2 but far less aggressive. My real problem is the allergic reaction that we believe Oxaliplatin gives me, the oncologist believed that this would be solved by a large dose of antihistamines and hyrdocortisone prior to the infusion which was also extended from 2 to 3 hours. A slower infusion is sometimes used to reduce the side effects. As well as my daily Clexane injections I now have a 3 day course of G-CSF injections between each cycle to prevent Neutropenia. The injections aren't bad and as long as they keep my white blood cells at an acceptable level that suits me. The last thing I want is a nasty infection to prevent me from pushing through these horrible chemo sessions!
Chemo day was quite long due to delays in getting the treatment started and we got home at about 7pm that evening. The usual symptoms had started, hands ceasing up, muscle twitching, pins and needles and the cold sensation in my fingers and toes but these are fairly manageable if not a little annoying. After avoiding food most of the day to prevent any chemo sickness I was quite hungry but decided to play it safe with soup and bread for dinner.
After waiting for a couple of hours to see if any of the allergic reactions would kick in, I began to feel quite tired, counted myself lucky and went to bed at 10.30pm......
....then 1am came around. I'd been dozing on and off but then quite suddenly the chills and aching legs had started. I woke Paul up, "I feel really sick". A few seconds later I was violently sick, I'd felt quite pleased with myself for being prepared with a sick bowl next to the bed as there was no way I was making it to the bathroom. The sickness carried on for about 10 minutes, Paul got me to drink some water when I'd finally stopped but that came back up again. Gross.
When I'd stopped throwing up a couple of minutes later, I did feel better but I noticed I was feeling hot, very hot again. Paul was already on the phone to the oncology unit at the QA and I checked my temperature. 39.2C (102F), oh dear...back to the fever again. As Paul talked to the nurse, I was popping another antihistamine and paracetamol to help bring my temperature down and stop the allergic reaction in it's tracks.
Paul and I decided (along with the nurse of course) to monitor my temperature over the next hour with the help of the paracetamol, antihistamine and many pints of water to see if this alone would help without me being admitted into hospital, again, in the middle of the night.
So over the next hour, every 10 minutes Paul took my temperature and slowly but surely it was getting lower and lower, but it was still above the magical 38C (hospital time) temperature. We called the oncology ward again for further advice and were told that if I was feeling better to keep drinking plenty of water and monitor my temperature as it was going the right way, in the interim, a bed was being prepared for me just in case. The 10 minute interval temperature taking took us to 4am, where finally it was back down to an acceptable level.
It felt like an achievement to keep me out of hospital this time, we decided to get a bit of sleep, setting the alarm for 5am to check my temperature and make any decisions then. The alarm sounded almost as soon as it was set it seemed and I was tested again, all seemed ok. More sleep. 7am, temperature was still ok.
It was a long night but I'd dodged the hospital admittance. After all that excitement, I was exhausted and slept almost solidly until 6pm Saturday night. I felt so much better for it.
That's about as eventful as the last week has been thankfully. I've mainly been in a chemo induced slumber for much of this week, only today have I had some energy. With the nice weather this weekend, I'm going to make the most of it before round #4 next Friday. That's a third of the way through chemo!
I will be having a "break" after the 6th chemo session. By break, I mean 5 weeks of 5 days a week radiotherapy. The radiotherapy is to prevent anything from coming back from the spot where the tumour was, in the surgeons words, "throwing everything they can at me" to ensure the cancer doesn't return.
Hayley x
Sunday, 11 March 2012
...and I'm feeling good!
Sunday 11th March 2012
The fog has lifted, what a difference a few days makes!
Since Friday afternoon, I feel more like the old Hayley. I feel fit, well, have energy and an appetite! I've been given the very good advice to treasure these days in between chemo sessions (thank you Joanne). I've managed 3 meals the past couple of days and have actually enjoyed them. It's amazing how different I feel, I'm so grateful for this reprieve.
Saturday started a little bit shakily, had a slight whiff of nausea and a sinking feeling. I took one Domperidone (sounds like Dom Perignon - not as nice but of more use to me at the moment) and one Diazepam and within an hour, I was ready to face the world. I'm finding Diazepam useful, I'm on the lowest dose and so far I have only taken two...one Friday and one Saturday. I'm determined to only take it when absolutely necessary, and happily - today has been a drug free day. I've had so many people on Twitter and Facebook message me to share their experiences of anxiety, I'm humbled by these individuals stories and how they have coped with anxiety and depression - it really helps me. Many people have used Diazepam to help them through the tough times, I don't feel so alone now.
So, I feel in a positive frame of mind. so here's what's happened....
Nice things I've done and felt this weekend:
Laughed with Paul
Ate good food
Had cake
Not sick
Not tired
Worn make-up
Hardly any anxiety
Walked in the woods
Sat in the sunshine
Spent time with friends (Jo, Dan, Bry, Matt and Vicky)
Flowers from Jo
Hugged my Mum and Dad
Had a good long chat with my Brother
Went to B&Q for ideas on various projects on our house
Not thought about cancer
Looking forward to the next few days of *touch wood* feeling like this before chemo #3.
Hayley x
The fog has lifted, what a difference a few days makes!
Since Friday afternoon, I feel more like the old Hayley. I feel fit, well, have energy and an appetite! I've been given the very good advice to treasure these days in between chemo sessions (thank you Joanne). I've managed 3 meals the past couple of days and have actually enjoyed them. It's amazing how different I feel, I'm so grateful for this reprieve.
Saturday started a little bit shakily, had a slight whiff of nausea and a sinking feeling. I took one Domperidone (sounds like Dom Perignon - not as nice but of more use to me at the moment) and one Diazepam and within an hour, I was ready to face the world. I'm finding Diazepam useful, I'm on the lowest dose and so far I have only taken two...one Friday and one Saturday. I'm determined to only take it when absolutely necessary, and happily - today has been a drug free day. I've had so many people on Twitter and Facebook message me to share their experiences of anxiety, I'm humbled by these individuals stories and how they have coped with anxiety and depression - it really helps me. Many people have used Diazepam to help them through the tough times, I don't feel so alone now.
So, I feel in a positive frame of mind. so here's what's happened....
Nice things I've done and felt this weekend:
Laughed with Paul
Ate good food
Had cake
Not sick
Not tired
Worn make-up
Hardly any anxiety
Walked in the woods
Sat in the sunshine
Spent time with friends (Jo, Dan, Bry, Matt and Vicky)
Flowers from Jo
Hugged my Mum and Dad
Had a good long chat with my Brother
Went to B&Q for ideas on various projects on our house
Not thought about cancer
Looking forward to the next few days of *touch wood* feeling like this before chemo #3.
Hayley x
Friday, 9 March 2012
Post chemo #2 carnage.
Friday 9th March
Well, hello to the world of the living.
After the past weekend's escapades, I had another eventful week which involved the following:
Nausea
Vomiting
Not eating
Fatigue
Chest tightness
Fainting
Ambulance
Hospital
Crying
More crying
Sleeping
More sleeping
Anxiety
Buying an iPad 3
Out of those 14 items, guess which was my favourite.
Chemotherapy, to use a cricketing term which my Dad would be proud of; has knocked me for six. I believe this is due to the allergic reaction I had last weekend and the hospital not giving me the correct dosage of steroids, post chemo.
Steroids are supposed to make you feel better and give you an appetite after the infusion for a few days after whilst the drug is still whizzing around in your veins. I was supposed to have 12 tablets spaced over Saturday, Sunday and Monday. I only got 3. I protested to the nurses that these were the doses I was supposed to get, but the drug rounds are random at best.
I am in no way knocking the wonderful nurses, they have a very tough job. I just wished there was some consistency with the care. I really believe that if I'd been giving the correct dose of steroids I would have had less problems this week with eating.
I'm now at my lowest weight for years. My mum said I looked skinny when I came out of hospital on Wednesday. Now, normally I'd be happy with this but as I'm only into chemo #2 I don't want to lose so much that I become too weak. Crikey, it's a vicious circle!
So, what happened with the ambulance and hospital this week. What's the drama queen been up to this time?
Foolishly, in my weakened state I decided it would be a good idea to have a hot bath on Wednesday morning. Normally, I'm a shower kind of girl but baths are supposed to be relaxing. Not so in this case!
The minute I got out I was feeling extremely whoozy, luckily Paul was around as moving from the bathroom into the bedroom I collapsed into a heap on the floor. Paul panicked (understandably) and I don't really remember what happened until he'd got me onto the bed and told me an ambulance was on the way.
The paramedics turned up and took my stats which were all ok apart from my blood pressure being low. I naturally have low blood pressure anyway, but this was even low for me. This is why I'd fainted. They decided it was a good idea to take me to the hospital to get me checked over (again) and make sure there wasn't anything else more sinister going on.
Blood tests, chest x-ray and blood pressure tests later, it was determined that I have high anxiety and blood pressure was on the low side due to lack of food. I know I can't f&%*ing eat, but what can I do?!?! I really am trying, but imagine trying to eat when you feel sick and anxious. A bit like waiting to go for a job interview, that kind of nervous sickness and then actually being sick. Just hideous!
I decided enough was enough and had to see my GP. My GP is a really wonderful doctor and he understands what we've been through the past few months. There is more than this cancer diagnosis that has made me so uptight, but I will explain in a later post.
I explained to him that my anxiety really is beating me down, no matter how much I try to fight and be strong - I just don't have the energy at the moment. What with the blood clot on my picc line and then the allergic reaction that scared the Dickens out of me, I'm scared more of what the chemo can do to me rather than being an actual cancer patient, very odd.
I also told him of the sickness and nausea I've been experiencing so he prescribed me two different types of anti-nausea which should do the trick. Happily, so far today I haven't had any sicky feelings. I've also been prescribed Diazepam to help with my anxiety. I feel a little bit defeated by having to take the pill route to calm my nerves, but whatever works is my motto! I am attending a Macmillan course prior to chemo next week to help manage stress and anxiety, so I hope that this will help me rather than relying on the pill method for too long.
Looking forward to a quieter week until chemo next Friday. I'm going to do nice things and post a nice blog entry about it to show you I'm not really all doom and gloom.
Hayley x
Well, hello to the world of the living.
After the past weekend's escapades, I had another eventful week which involved the following:
Nausea
Vomiting
Not eating
Fatigue
Chest tightness
Fainting
Ambulance
Hospital
Crying
More crying
Sleeping
More sleeping
Anxiety
Buying an iPad 3
Out of those 14 items, guess which was my favourite.
Chemotherapy, to use a cricketing term which my Dad would be proud of; has knocked me for six. I believe this is due to the allergic reaction I had last weekend and the hospital not giving me the correct dosage of steroids, post chemo.
Steroids are supposed to make you feel better and give you an appetite after the infusion for a few days after whilst the drug is still whizzing around in your veins. I was supposed to have 12 tablets spaced over Saturday, Sunday and Monday. I only got 3. I protested to the nurses that these were the doses I was supposed to get, but the drug rounds are random at best.
I am in no way knocking the wonderful nurses, they have a very tough job. I just wished there was some consistency with the care. I really believe that if I'd been giving the correct dose of steroids I would have had less problems this week with eating.
I'm now at my lowest weight for years. My mum said I looked skinny when I came out of hospital on Wednesday. Now, normally I'd be happy with this but as I'm only into chemo #2 I don't want to lose so much that I become too weak. Crikey, it's a vicious circle!
So, what happened with the ambulance and hospital this week. What's the drama queen been up to this time?
Foolishly, in my weakened state I decided it would be a good idea to have a hot bath on Wednesday morning. Normally, I'm a shower kind of girl but baths are supposed to be relaxing. Not so in this case!
The minute I got out I was feeling extremely whoozy, luckily Paul was around as moving from the bathroom into the bedroom I collapsed into a heap on the floor. Paul panicked (understandably) and I don't really remember what happened until he'd got me onto the bed and told me an ambulance was on the way.
The paramedics turned up and took my stats which were all ok apart from my blood pressure being low. I naturally have low blood pressure anyway, but this was even low for me. This is why I'd fainted. They decided it was a good idea to take me to the hospital to get me checked over (again) and make sure there wasn't anything else more sinister going on.
Blood tests, chest x-ray and blood pressure tests later, it was determined that I have high anxiety and blood pressure was on the low side due to lack of food. I know I can't f&%*ing eat, but what can I do?!?! I really am trying, but imagine trying to eat when you feel sick and anxious. A bit like waiting to go for a job interview, that kind of nervous sickness and then actually being sick. Just hideous!
I decided enough was enough and had to see my GP. My GP is a really wonderful doctor and he understands what we've been through the past few months. There is more than this cancer diagnosis that has made me so uptight, but I will explain in a later post.
I explained to him that my anxiety really is beating me down, no matter how much I try to fight and be strong - I just don't have the energy at the moment. What with the blood clot on my picc line and then the allergic reaction that scared the Dickens out of me, I'm scared more of what the chemo can do to me rather than being an actual cancer patient, very odd.
I also told him of the sickness and nausea I've been experiencing so he prescribed me two different types of anti-nausea which should do the trick. Happily, so far today I haven't had any sicky feelings. I've also been prescribed Diazepam to help with my anxiety. I feel a little bit defeated by having to take the pill route to calm my nerves, but whatever works is my motto! I am attending a Macmillan course prior to chemo next week to help manage stress and anxiety, so I hope that this will help me rather than relying on the pill method for too long.
Looking forward to a quieter week until chemo next Friday. I'm going to do nice things and post a nice blog entry about it to show you I'm not really all doom and gloom.
Hayley x
Saturday, 3 March 2012
Chemotherapy #2
Saturday 3rd March 2012
Well, this is fun!!!
Here I sit for my second night in hospital. I'm typing this entry on my phone so please excuse grammatical and spelling errors!
It all started early yesterday morning with the most excruciating feeling in my left eye. It felt like a hot piece of grit was scratching around in my eye, very strange. I do tend to suffer with mild hayfever so I thought it could just be kicking in early this year, but this felt nasty, could hardly open my eye...but this was to be the least of my worries for the day.
Got to the hospital at 8.30am on Friday for the CT scans on my lungs for anything untoward (picc line blood clot, tumour spread), ended up waiting until 10 to eventually have the scan. A CT scan is a quick and painless process, lie on a bed and move through what looks like a giant polo mint. A lady in the room next door tells you to breathe in, hold it and breathe normally. The most disturbing part of the whole process is when they inject you with the fluid to make the scan clearer. It makes you feel like you've wet yourself, yeah..pleasant!!
Anyway, that was all done and it was just a case of waiting until 1pm for chemo, all this time my eye is still kicking me in the arse. Paul made 4 trips to the pharmacy for me that day, the first being to get me some eye drops to ease the gritty feeling. A few drops later and it was already feeling better.
We went and sat in the Macmillan lounge and a really lovely volunteer chap brought us tea and biscuits, we got chatting. This gent must be in his late 60's I would guess and he told me he is 4 years clear of stage 4 bowel cancer. He spent 40 minutes talking to me about his experiences and we compared our stories. I love hearing about success stories, the fact his cancer was advanced (far more than mine is) and he's still here to tell the tale, despite the odds, living life to the full. It gives me so much hope.
1pm rolled around and it was time to be hooked up to my infusions and start round 2. Again, I felt ok. Sitting there for 3 hours, the time seemed to pass very quickly. Before I knew it the I was being unhooked and sent on my way home.
Walked outside and the cold air hit my eyes and face like hundreds of ice cold pins, such a weird sensation but that's as close as I can describe as to how it feels. Got in the car, Paul whacked the hearing up (he hates hot cars) but what a lamb he is, putting the temp up high to save my twitching face and hands!
Thankfully it only takes 10 minutes to get home, PJ's went straight on, under blanket on the sofa and this is I was intending to spend all weekend.
I should be so lucky!
Two hours later I started to feel bad. Really bad. My temperature was rising steadily, my body was shaking uncontrollably with chills and nausea took over with the eventual vom. Last time I felt this bad I had flu, or when I had glandular fever back when I was 17.
So, as per instructed by the hospital - Paul called the onc ward and told them my symptoms. Paul was already bundling me into the car before the hospital had the chance to tell us to come in.
We got to the hospital 10 minutes later, by this time I was short of breath and my legs were heavy and aching, feeling very poorly indeed.
Once we'd got to the onc ward, we were told to sit in a room whilst they prepared a bed. Pants. That really meant I was going to stay in.
After a hours wait, the on call dr tried to get a cannula in my arm. I'm not joking when I say my right arm is now battered, black and blue from bruises. She must have tried 5 times in that arm and 3 times in my left hand. My veins are shot to pieces, they are so sick of needles. The doctor finally got the cannula in my left hand, only with the help of Paul squeezing the life out my arm to get a vein to show.
Normally, the hospital would use my picc line to take bloods but the pump is attached at the moment. The doctor took blood to test for white and red blood count as well as platelets and to see if there was any infection. Whilst this was happening, I was getting hotter, chills and a rather aggressive rash was developing on my arms, face and chest.
Eventually, I got a bed and laid down ready to just pass out, I was exhausted. The doctor got the blood tests back and my levels were ok, I was pleased that I hadn't developed Neutropenia but it turned out that I was having a rather nasty allergic reaction to part of my chemo regime, so strange as I didn't have any of this last time!? The CT scan results from earlier in the day were also checked due to my breathlessness and happily the results were described as 'beautifully clear'. What a relief. Not only are there no clots, but also no evidence of cancer spread. The lungs is one of the most common places bowel cancer will metastasise.
The treatment plan for a drug rash is anti histamines, so I was injected with some concoction and told to take paracetamol to reduce my rocketing temperature of 39.7. I just wanted to sleep but I was incredibly hot, the rash was burning me so badly.
I had a very restless night, but managed a little sleep.
Morning came and I was already feeling a bit better, but not really looking it. The rash had completely enveloped my body but my temperature had gone back down to a more acceptable level. The day continued uneventfully, my onc is on call this weekend so came to see me. My chemo was safe to continue (thankfully) and anti histamines will be another drug I will have to take throughout my treatment.
So here I am, Saturday night. In hospital again. I'm on a nice ward with three other lovely ladies so it's not terrible. I've been told I should be able to go home tomorrow, fingers crossed!
Hayley x
Well, this is fun!!!
Here I sit for my second night in hospital. I'm typing this entry on my phone so please excuse grammatical and spelling errors!
It all started early yesterday morning with the most excruciating feeling in my left eye. It felt like a hot piece of grit was scratching around in my eye, very strange. I do tend to suffer with mild hayfever so I thought it could just be kicking in early this year, but this felt nasty, could hardly open my eye...but this was to be the least of my worries for the day.
Got to the hospital at 8.30am on Friday for the CT scans on my lungs for anything untoward (picc line blood clot, tumour spread), ended up waiting until 10 to eventually have the scan. A CT scan is a quick and painless process, lie on a bed and move through what looks like a giant polo mint. A lady in the room next door tells you to breathe in, hold it and breathe normally. The most disturbing part of the whole process is when they inject you with the fluid to make the scan clearer. It makes you feel like you've wet yourself, yeah..pleasant!!
Anyway, that was all done and it was just a case of waiting until 1pm for chemo, all this time my eye is still kicking me in the arse. Paul made 4 trips to the pharmacy for me that day, the first being to get me some eye drops to ease the gritty feeling. A few drops later and it was already feeling better.
We went and sat in the Macmillan lounge and a really lovely volunteer chap brought us tea and biscuits, we got chatting. This gent must be in his late 60's I would guess and he told me he is 4 years clear of stage 4 bowel cancer. He spent 40 minutes talking to me about his experiences and we compared our stories. I love hearing about success stories, the fact his cancer was advanced (far more than mine is) and he's still here to tell the tale, despite the odds, living life to the full. It gives me so much hope.
1pm rolled around and it was time to be hooked up to my infusions and start round 2. Again, I felt ok. Sitting there for 3 hours, the time seemed to pass very quickly. Before I knew it the I was being unhooked and sent on my way home.
Walked outside and the cold air hit my eyes and face like hundreds of ice cold pins, such a weird sensation but that's as close as I can describe as to how it feels. Got in the car, Paul whacked the hearing up (he hates hot cars) but what a lamb he is, putting the temp up high to save my twitching face and hands!
Thankfully it only takes 10 minutes to get home, PJ's went straight on, under blanket on the sofa and this is I was intending to spend all weekend.
I should be so lucky!
Two hours later I started to feel bad. Really bad. My temperature was rising steadily, my body was shaking uncontrollably with chills and nausea took over with the eventual vom. Last time I felt this bad I had flu, or when I had glandular fever back when I was 17.
So, as per instructed by the hospital - Paul called the onc ward and told them my symptoms. Paul was already bundling me into the car before the hospital had the chance to tell us to come in.
We got to the hospital 10 minutes later, by this time I was short of breath and my legs were heavy and aching, feeling very poorly indeed.
Once we'd got to the onc ward, we were told to sit in a room whilst they prepared a bed. Pants. That really meant I was going to stay in.
After a hours wait, the on call dr tried to get a cannula in my arm. I'm not joking when I say my right arm is now battered, black and blue from bruises. She must have tried 5 times in that arm and 3 times in my left hand. My veins are shot to pieces, they are so sick of needles. The doctor finally got the cannula in my left hand, only with the help of Paul squeezing the life out my arm to get a vein to show.
Normally, the hospital would use my picc line to take bloods but the pump is attached at the moment. The doctor took blood to test for white and red blood count as well as platelets and to see if there was any infection. Whilst this was happening, I was getting hotter, chills and a rather aggressive rash was developing on my arms, face and chest.
Eventually, I got a bed and laid down ready to just pass out, I was exhausted. The doctor got the blood tests back and my levels were ok, I was pleased that I hadn't developed Neutropenia but it turned out that I was having a rather nasty allergic reaction to part of my chemo regime, so strange as I didn't have any of this last time!? The CT scan results from earlier in the day were also checked due to my breathlessness and happily the results were described as 'beautifully clear'. What a relief. Not only are there no clots, but also no evidence of cancer spread. The lungs is one of the most common places bowel cancer will metastasise.
The treatment plan for a drug rash is anti histamines, so I was injected with some concoction and told to take paracetamol to reduce my rocketing temperature of 39.7. I just wanted to sleep but I was incredibly hot, the rash was burning me so badly.
I had a very restless night, but managed a little sleep.
Morning came and I was already feeling a bit better, but not really looking it. The rash had completely enveloped my body but my temperature had gone back down to a more acceptable level. The day continued uneventfully, my onc is on call this weekend so came to see me. My chemo was safe to continue (thankfully) and anti histamines will be another drug I will have to take throughout my treatment.
So here I am, Saturday night. In hospital again. I'm on a nice ward with three other lovely ladies so it's not terrible. I've been told I should be able to go home tomorrow, fingers crossed!
Hayley x
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